Cool Rides For Old Folks

Time machines? You must have been watching the History Channel! Hey, some of us seniors still own and drive our (time) machines that can keep up with todays’.

We old people on Social Security have lots of time and money to enjoy fast cars. Remember, our house and everything in it is paid for, our tax-free investments have to be disbursed as we go, we no longer have kids to support or educate. How much could you young guys do if you didn’t have mortgages, furniture payments, car payments and all day to play? All my friend Lloyd has to worry about is the next show for his very rare and fast 1962 Pontiac Catalina 421 Super Duty with two fours, rock-crusher 4-speed, posi rear, all-aluminum light-weight front end (and headers), radio and heater delete – this car terrorized the roads when Yenko was selling Corvairs! Or perhaps taking a mid-day spin in his “daily driver”, a bright red 64 Corvette fuelie 4-speed? Or, when he wants to head down to the shore, he drives his 1957 Safari 2-door wagon with factory tri-power. Think about new knees and a long board! Lloyd bought a 69 Corvette L88 coupe a couple of months ago that’s being restored. Remember the Vette that beat the Hemis? Maybe some members still have old time slips to see what L88 Vettes did in the quarter. I personally don’t remember any Yenkos beating real L88s in national NHRA events, but I do remember poor response times and nailing some walls. Yes, I remember some time machines at Road Atlanta 35 years ago and at the 71 Summer Nationals the first year York US30 opened. I clearly remember having my camera lens melted by one of the GE jet engines in drag cars, seeing 427 Cobras, Hemi powered van/pickups, mid-engine Hemi Barracudas, pulling wheel stands down most of the quarter, and then going home in a fast Camaro convertible like the one pictured above at the end of the weekend. Me? There’s not much I want with fast cars anymore, but I want to see the rest of this country and all the others. You can buy lots of fast cars for the prices to travel abroad anymore. I still enjoy my rides, but they are no longer vintage or fast. I really have no one I need to impress. I simply spend my money on other things and ride with my friends who drive muscle. I, like many retired speed nuts, are impressed at what today’s tuners are doing. I don’t remember any cars in the Yekno years running in the 8-second classes! And I don’t remember big block Suburbans running 395HP from a LS2 like the Trailblazer SS. Think of what things will be in 40 or 50 years when you’re my age! What will your time capsule have in it when you’re a senior?

I believe that since most of the millionaires in America are seniors (not me), those who like to go fast still have the opportunity and ability to give themselves heart attacks. When I think of scary speeds and g-forces, taking off in the space shuttle or a ride with the Thunderbirds may git-r-done. Ever tried the water? A dual-big block 32-foot Fountain speedboat with the optional roots superchargers under the “hood” can give quite a rush too! At 80, the boat’s out of the water skimming the crests, and without a brake pedal! That and the open exhaust sound of the twin 502s tend to get most peoples blood pumping to heart attack levels.

Even though we never made it down the quarter in an 8-second Honda, we seniors know about going fast. Wait a minute. Did you guys mean the ELDERLY, which are the senior’s parents? If so, it’s still too late. Having kids like us already gave them heart attacks! Running away for three days at Woodstock the year that Camaro was new didn’t help either. Enjoy your generation, you opportunities and technology. I wouldn’t worry too much about us seniors. I wouldn’t trade my memories and experiences, but I wish I would have taken care of this old body. Speed kills, you know, and I would have taken better care of myself if I knew I was going to live this long! Words of wisdom between car lovers – Spend your money on NOS and not cigarettes so you’ll have your memories when you’re a senior. A good diet will do a lot for a body too.

I didn’t want miss thanking you guys for thinking about us seniors. Take care and enjoy your ride!

Automobiles are icons of the past, like mile markers on a trip, models of yesteryear bring back memories. Restored antique vehicles must be like time machines to the elderly.

I think it’s a wonderful idea.