Sketchy and Gross: Man Claims To Have Had Sex With 1000 Cars

And you thought those "furry" people had problems? There’s something a lot worse, and it reportedly lives right here in Washington. A local man named Edward Smith claims that he’s had sexual relations with a thousand cars, and a documentary about him and his fellow "mechaphiles" titled Strangelove: My Car Is My Lover will supposedly debut this Wednesday the 28th. This skeevy trailer shows the grizzled old man cheating on his live-in "girlfriend," a white Beetle named "Vanilla," by full-on making out with the producers’ Tahoe. But the worst is when he describes on camera his previous nights’ hook-up with Vanilla—while cleaning up the aftermath. Ugh. The second preview is even more gross: you get to find out what he likes about tailpipes. Yuck! It just makes you want to install backward-facing razor blades in yours, doesn’t it? While the dude seems to have a few regular victims, he claims that the majority of cars he’s messed around with belong to strangers or dealer showrooms. I’m pretty glad that TV listings have gotten too complicated for me to navigate—and it looks like maybe this British documentary will be aired only in the UK. Good, keep it there! And seriously, don’t watch these trailers unless you want to be fighting the heebs for for the rest of the day.

Via Jalopnik.