The Fleet is Down!

Ever have one of those weeks where just about everything went wrong? Well, last week was my week for everything in my garage to turn to crap. Let’s start with Monday. It was a great day here in NYC and I decided to take my 2001 BMW M5 out for a little jaunt. Keep in mind that this car is no spring chicken. I say this because once you say BMW and M5 in the same sentence people get certain ideas in their heads, like you probably go to country clubs and buy expensive t- shirts and stuff. My old M5 has 91k miles on the clock and over the past six months has been beating me senseless with repairs. The newest issue seems to be a fun knocking noise coming from the driver’s side front end. I’ve heard everything from thrust arm bushings (no idea what those are), to the steering rack, to the struts. Either way I know it’s going to be expensive, because, well, M5 and cheap never follow each other. I brought the car into the mechanic only to find the sound had stopped. Typical, right? So, I picked the car up, drove thirty miles and the sound came back. Simply astounding…

Next up, my trusty old 1997 Mercury Villager, AKA, the "Danger VAN." This old girl is the work horse of the fleet with 117k miles. Now I know some of you out there will snicker at the fact that I drive a minivan as a daily driver, but ya’ll can go scratch because I LOVE this thing. I don’t worry about parking anywhere, I can haul parts in it and it only cost $2,500. Until now, that is. On Thursday I was driving through the Midtown tunnel into NYC, air conditioner blasting, radio on, when I looked down and saw the temp needle BURIED in the red. OH SH*T! Being in NYC and broken down is one thing, being stuck in the Midtown tunnel one hour before rush hour is something completely different. I limped the van out of the tunnel and right into a parking garage. It was pissing anti-freeze and smoking like an SOB. Crap, there goes car #2.

Fast forward to Saturday. I was heading to the CIA (Culinary Institute of America) in Hyde Park, NY in the Charger with some friends, when I went to get off an exit ramp and the power steering started whining like a stuck pig. I pulled off and checked the reservoir only to find it completely empty. Ah…the joys of old car ownership. Luckily I had a quart of power steering fluid with me and put it in only to watch it start to drip right out. Wonderful. Now keep in mind that the Charger is my ROCK. Yes, it’s old but this car has NEVER left me stranded. Now here I was 75 miles from home with a leaking power steering pump. Ugh… It did get me home, though.

So now I sit here typing this with my three cars all needing work. Four if you count the Daytona, but that’s a whole ‘nuther story. The Charger I can fix myself, so no worries there. The BMW, well, I have no idea how fix that strudel wagon. And the Danger Van, I may be lucky enough to get away with a thermostat, new belts and fan–unless of course the head gasket blew, then it just gets donated to charity. Either way, though, this was a rough week, and I know the bill is going to suck when all is said and done.

I don’t know, maybe I should sell everything and buy one good vehicle. Problem, there is nothing out that can do everything. So like I said earlier. UGH.