Ken Block Tried to Kill Me – 3X!!

By John Naderi

StreetFire.net

Ken Block is the creator of the DC Shoes empire and a Rally America championship stud. But he’s best known as that heel toe god among us match-rev challenged mortals who pulled the Segue donut in that gymkhana practice video that has been straining the bandwidth of the entire interweb with some 20 million-plus streams to date. And earlier this week Ken Block tried to kill me – on three separate occasions! Get to jumping to read how.

First I strapped in for a skivvy-soaking ride with KB in his new E85-powered 500hp 2009 STI for an exercise in precision car control on the very same setting where he filmed the follow-up to his first viral masterpiece. My life flashed before my eyes against an imposing backdrop of immovable dockside objects.

The accused’s second attempt on my life came when he put his STI’s grille all up in my grille giving me a full Pleiades facial. Fortunately I have photographic evidence of the drift and run and I can’t comment any further due to my pending litigation against Mr. Block. I’m suing for damages… to my shorts.

My final brush with death came during the screening of the Gymkhana Two Project video. And how did almost die watching this video? Not due to a Ringu-like curse but from – the money shot. When Ken slung the ass-end of his Subie out over the cold grimy water in the Port of LA my heart skipped a beat. And at my age I can’t afford any more palpitations.

The premiere screening even had a quesadilla bar. I don’t think I’ve ever been to a viral video screening with a quesadilla bar. Come to think of it, I’ve never been to a screening of a viral video. But this GTP2 video is that epic. The production is over the top with cameos from pro skaters Rob Dyrdek and Jason Ellis. And the driving stunts are as big, if not bigger than before with props and even a Bruckheimer-style explosion. Where the first video snuck up and socked us all in the head this one takes your breath away, like a pair of hands slowly constricting your windpipe.

The Gymkhana Two Project video will drop on StreetFire on this coming Monday, June 1. Set your faces to stunned. Oh yeah, I’m Nads. I’m new around here.