By Sam Barer

Sound Classics

I wrote here a few months ago about my wife’s decision to replace her 1998 Olds Intrigue. I detailed my grand plan to give her the 2006 Toyota Avalon while I procured myself a slightly used Mercedes S550 as a new daily driver.

The interesting thing about the Mercedes S550 is that, without expensive and rarely-equipped options, it offers fewer bells and whistles than a minivan of half the price. Consequently, it was near impossible to find one with adaptive laser-guided cruise control and a back-up camera, at least one with a reasonable number of miles that wasn’t being sold by a dealer at a typical narcotics kingpin’s profit margin. I did finally find a low-mileds 2008 S600 (the model with all the bells and whistles as standard, powered by the fire-breathing bi-turbo V12 and usually purchased new by professional athletes and CEOs) offered at a sell-it-today price of $72,000, but getting it to my door and licensing it would have put it at $80,000. Still, at nine in the morning on one beautiful day I had the deal ready to go.

It’s funny how spouses have the ability to bring us back to ground-level. My wife reminded me that no matter how far under-value I could buy the S600, I was making a poor financial decision. She also pointed to the other cars in the garage and asked if I really needed another expensive car for myself. This was the point when I again got to swallow hard and use my signature line “you’re right, I’m wrong, I’m sorry, I’ll change!”

It had taken me months to get to nearly buying the S600, but thanks to my wife’s decisive nature, by 5pm that night she was at Titus-Will Hyundai signing for a brand new 2010 Genesis 4.6 Sedan–for her! A Hyundai? On my property? What the hell?

Continue reading "Heaven, Hell or Hyundai" »

By Sam Barer

Sound Classics

Back in the good old days of automobile purchase decisions, a buyer had a long list of options from which to choose. Seldom were any said options (aside from picking one engine over another) mutually exclusive.

When there was a case of mutual exclusivity, at least it made sense. I mean, c’mon, do you really need air conditioning with that selection of the high-compression solid-lifter race-spec L88 427-cubic inch engine on this ’67 Corvette you’re ordering, sir?

Continue reading after the jump!

Continue reading "Stupid Mutual Exclusivity Of The Day: Audi A8L Option Packages" »

After Tomas Delgado ran down a 17 year old cyclist, his insurance company paid the kid’s parents 50 grand, citing that their client had been driving too fast for conditions, and might have avoiding killing the youth. But while a decent person would be racked by guilt—and a less decent person would just thank the stars he wasn’t in jail—Delgado’s next step was to sue the victim’s family over the damage he inflicted on his Audi A8 while killing their son. He’s asking for 20 grand to cover fixing his car, and an
additional nine grand for the cost of renting one while his murder
mobile was being repaired. This is an actual quote from the piece of garbage: "I’m also a victim in all of this, you can’t fix the lad’s problems, but you can fix mine." What an asshole. Here’s hoping local authorities throw him into the slammer. Then he won’t need a car. Problem solved.