Lots of scary stuff has been in the news lately—you know, with the whole world going broke and everything—but this story is one of the scariest I’ve seen yet. It seems scientists have documented that sharks can reproduce asexually. What? "Virgin birth" sharks? If that doesn’t signal the end of the world, I don’t know what does. Anyway, here’s the news:

• Yesterday, the General’s stock hit its lowest point since the ’50s, which has made some industry folks wonder whether it would just bite the bullet and file for bankruptcy. Well, apparently, the answer is a big fat no. Los Angeles Times
• You know the only good thing about fur? All the ads of sexy celebs saying they’d rather go naked than wear it. Formula 1 supremo Bernie Ecclestone’s daughter is the latest to join the PETA  campaign, and let’s just say she’s a lot easier on the eye than her pop. AutoWeek
• This is probably one of the most counter-intuitive things I’ve ever heard, but some researchers apparently think that closing roads could actually ease congestion. Personally, I hope this line of reasoning catches on, because I’d really like to apply it to my drinking problem. Wired
• VW has been toying with the idea of a mid-engined sports car, and while I think Porsche’s impending takeover will probably put the brakes on those plans, I still think it’s a cool idea. Motor Authority

While I can understand it, I’ve never really forgiven Hotmail for its policy of wiping your account if you don’t log in every three months, and I’ve had no problems with Google’s mail service. Gmail is great. But this idea of not letting you email drunk? It sucks! Just how am I supposed to send messages when I’m off the clock? Anyway, here’s the news:

• Given that F1 supremo Bernie Ecclestone has reportedly been contemplating a return to the States, it seems strange that the Montreal race would be axed. The move means that there are currently zero F1 races in North America? F1 Live
• Remember all those rumors about a mid-engined Corvette? Well, it turns out that’s all they’ll ever be—the General is officially over the concept. On a related note, Resse’s has confirmed that the 2010 version of its famous peanut butter cups will not feature chopped pickle. Motor Trend
• In other GM news, the company is apparently looking to kick the Renaissance Center to the curb.  Now, as someone who’s stayed at the RenCenter numerous times, I can safely say it’s the worst designed building I’ve ever had the displeasure of being inside. Good riddance. Detroit News
• The Jaguar XF-R has been spotted in Death Valley again. And while I think it’s great that it’s being tested in the States, I’d much prefer the 500HP Kitty have its bugs worked out across the pond, and be offered for sale here. World Car Fans

I’ve been to a lot of car shows, but even to my jaded eyes, the Geneva Motor Show looks incredible. Maybe next year, I’ll actually get to go. Here’s the news:

• Not only is Lamborghini’s LP560/4 sexier and more powerful than the Gallardo, it also emits 18% less C02. Of course, it’s cool to see that Lambo cares about the environment, but if you factor in the amount of time its cars spend parked, they’re probably greener than a Prius. Automotive News
• The strike at American Axel has led GM to idle a sixth plant. Basically, management at AA wants its workers to accept a 50% pay cut, and they aren’t particularly pumped about that prospect. How long will this go on? Detroit News
• F1 Supremo Bernie Ecclestone is floating the idea of holding a race on the streets of Paris. Just think, it’d be like the Rendez-vous times ten! Fox Sports News
• This has been brewing for a while, but it looks like Porsche is actually going to buy a controlling share in VW. Will anyone but the shareholders notice? New York Times