It’s not quite as sleek as Bond’s Lotus submarine, but since this Hummer is real, I’d say it wins. To be completely accurate, this looks like a military-spec version HMMWV, but since my Marine buddies used to call them Hummers, I’ll take my chances in the blogosphere. As impressive as this clip is, I’d kill to see some in-car video of traversing the creek bed. Think the lights are waterproof?

I’m absolutely stoked out of my mind about SEMA 2009, which the CarDomain crew will be hitting up next week. And one of the aspects of this mega-show that I always look forward to are the crazy, cobbed-together, WTF monstrosities that always seem to find their way onto the show floor. SEMA never seems to have any shortage of freaks of nature–or more accurately, freaks of overzealous builders with too much meth and too little time. And it’s not like I’m knocking SEMA’s automotive mutants–hell, you guys know the cars that I’m into are far from pretty. I’m a huge fan of the orphaned and the unwanted–and I’m well aware that what looks to me like Jabba The Hut in a discarded prom dress can very easily be someone else’s dream car that they’ve loved, dreamed about, and slaved over–that cherished project whose every last godawful detail is meticulously attended to as its builder bravely perseveres in the face of scorn and ridicule. Blessedly, SEMA is the place where the finished monstrosities finally come home to roost, where they have their day in the sun–and where we too can lovingly ridicule them in all their hideous glory. And as far as I’m concerned, the uglies are what make the show–they’re the essence of SEMA’s unique and unmistakable brand of over-the-top excess. This year, we’ll be sure to bring you a whole slew of the bloated, garish, over-embellished, ridiculous hulks that’ll make your eyes bleed. Bring on the freaks!

The Hummer is an ex-SEMA show truck up for auction now on ebaymotors.

So, off I went up into to town to have coffee with my buddy Ted Silverberg at the local Starbucks. As I pulled into the parking lot, I was nearly run over by another buddy of mine, Mr. SuperSurfer and Waterman Laird Hamilton. You know when Laird’s around because his Hummer is way bigger than anyone else.

This is not a show truck. This monster does the real deal and is always dirty. And since Laird travels the world doing things that no one else would ever consider, this car is all him. Check THIS out. Yes, that’s Laird. Heart of stone cold adrenaline, plus coffee. And you thought I was nuts…

Normally, I’m not a fan of Hummers, but I think this one is pretty awesome. The six-wheel set-up looks great, and you have to love how the automatic door and wheelchair ramp give it a space ship vibe. The only other Hummer I can remember seeing with this treatment was the one spotted in Moscow, but that baby was security-focused, while this example is all about the bling. And while I know that the hydraulics are functional, I’d be down with them even if they weren’t.

Now that GI Joe has come out, I can reveal some photos of the badass Hummer-type vehicles we did at CVS. BIG wouldn’t be a word I would use. MASSIVA-NOURMOUS would work better.

Now, I bet you’re asking yourself, “Is MASSIVA-NOURMOUS a word?” Well, since I blog, I like to make up cool words. And fancy words are just the thing when you’re building things that make no sense and will probably blow up. And these… did.

Boom.

This goofy contraption inspired by the Happy Jack H2 Commercialis was built on 1991 S10 pickup chassis. I’d actually never seen the H2 ad that inspired this thing until now. Not a huge fan of the H2, but I’d say the ad makes good use of one of my favorite Who songs. See more pics of this wood Hummer on eBay. Via Jalopnik

Jon Sibal recently designed what he calls an HGT, which is a mix of a Hummer and a Camaro. The rendering he did was absolutely stunning—so stunning, in fact, that Andre Mulyadi of Signal Auto picked up the design and decided to build one in real life! Pictures of the finished product after the jump.

The car was built entirely from scratch and other major projects at Signal Auto were put on hold to get this baby to the AutoBlackThrough Show. At the show, they unveiled their project, the Holden Muscle 350. Read the full story at Jon Sibal’s Blog.

Thanks to Nes for the tip.

Does this mean they don’t need to make fake ones anymore? Full story at CNN

Some guy in Montreal built an H1 on an old F150 frame. He fabricated everything you see here. Truly amazing. Read the 46+ page thread on the build at Full Size Bronco, and you can see a full photo gallery at Autoblog.

Need some automotive comedy? Something we can all unanimously hate on in unison? Look no further than this pink Hummer now for sale on Autotrader.

Whoever built this car managed to simultaneously turn me against two things that I love:  carbon fiber and Takashi Murakami.

On the interior of this monstrosity they managed to get what looks to be pink carbon fiber, presumably carbon fiber sticker. Now, just the idea that someone makes pink carbon fiber is already hilarious in my book (and no, it didnt come from Yashio Factory).

Then, they plastered the interior with Louis Vuitton pink leather which uses one of Murakami’s flower patterns he did for Louis Vuitton. But wait, there’s more…

Yes that’s right, a pink skid plate. And pink suspension components. I can’t imagine the shop’s reaction to this as they were asked to make a pink skid plate and to pink powdercoat the sway bars. If someone asked me to do that, I’d just need to turn away the business on the principal of it.

So the question is… will someone actually buy this now that it’s on sale second hand? Is there more than one crazy person in this world who needs something this gaudy?

Hate on.