This week, my intern has been on vacation. So not only have I been tasked with fetching my own tea, I’ve also been processing event photos, which is about as fun as poking yourself in the eye with a fork. Anyway, here’s the news:

• After an uber-creepy sex video involving F1 boss Max Mosley surfaced, everyone thought he was done for. But not only did he survive a vote of confidence from the F1 teams back in June, he just won a lawsuit against the paper that broke the story. Wow. World Car Fans
• Since he’s turning 18, Nick Hogan is going to be is being transfered to adult jail. That means he can stop complaining about being lonely and start wishing he was just lonely. TMZ
• Even though the company saw sales rise last quarter—the gas crunch hasn’t been bad for everyone—Hyundai actually made less money. And nope, I don’t understand how that works either. Detroit News
• The Ferrari California is almost ready for its closeup. While the official debut isn’t set to take place until the Paris Motor Show in October, Michael Schumacher has signed off on the finished product, calling it, "surprisingly sporty and fun to drive under any kind of conditions." Motor Authority
• Last quarter, Ma Mopar lost 431 million bucks. And while that sounds like a lot of money, it’s just a drop in the bucket compared to the amazing amount of cash Ford hemorrhaged, but still, it’s not good news. Freep

Some people never change. After getting into a 100MPH chase with the cops back in early June, a 77 year-old Montana man has been popped again. After an officer clocked him doing over 80MPH in his Shelby Mustang over the weekend, the speedy septgenarian fled, only to be arrested later at his home. Funny stuff. Anyway, here’s the news.

• The Isle of Man TT motorcycle race is one of the most exciting events in the world. And next year, there will be a race for green bikes after the main race is wrapped up. Electric race bikes? Bring it on! Wired
• Crash tests are going to get tougher. Since most cars are already acing the current battery, the government decided it was time to make them harder. Makes sense to me. Detroit News
• After surviving a vote of confidence last month, disgraced F1 boss Max Mosley hasn’t faded into the background. He’s pushing hard for new regulations, and he just might get them. Auto Week
• People were pissed about the proposed doubling of London’s controversial congestion charge, but Porsche did more than just gripe about it. The automaker filed an suit to have it struck down. And guess what? It won! Autoblog
• Alfa Romeo has just announced that it will partner with BMW to sell cars in the states. But still no word on a sexy little RWD 2+2. Apparently that’s too much to ask. Motor Authority

Well, I’m back from Bullrun, and I while I had amazing time, I feel like I could sleep for a week. But hey, nobody said that assignment was going to be easy. Anyway, here’s the news:

• Apparently, Max Mosely—AKA: Nazi orgy guy—had been told that some enemies were gunning for him, but he still didn’t curtail his hyper-freaky sessions with prostitutes. I still wonder if McLaren honcho Ron Dennis was involved. Times of London
• Lotus has released the a teaser pic of the Lotus Eagle, and even though there’s a lot left to the imagination, you have to love how aggressive the front end looks. World Car Fans
• How bad were auto sales in June? We’ll know for sure tomorrow, but those with any vested interest in the financial condition of the Big Three, should be afraid. Very afraid. Freep
• Those worried that the standard interior on Lamborghini’s new LP640 might be a bit on the cheap side can rest a little easier. The Italian Stallion will be available in a Versace edition, which is sure to be dead sexy. Auto Express

Lots to get to today, and more important than that, I can’t think of anything really interesting to say. Hey, it happens to the best of us. Here’s the news:

• A heavily camoed version of the 2010 Mustang has been spotted in the wild. And when I say "heavily camoed" I actually mean "looks like an inflated Hefty bag on wheels." Autoblog
• With truck sales going down the toilet, Ford is pulling out all the stops to try to make people spring for the heavy iron. This month, the Blue Oval will let customers have an F-Series for the same price as a Ford employee. That should generate at lot of revenue. Jalopnik
• Can $100 buy you victory at a car show—even if you don’t use it to buy one of the judges? Apparently, if you throw in a little elbow grease, it can. The Truth About Cars
• After learning that their plant was going to be shuttered, workers in Oshawa, Ontario have blockaded GM’s Canadian headquarters. Along with being constructive, I’m sure this is totally legal. Automotive News
• Curious as to how Max Mosley—AKA Nazi orgy guy—won his vote of confidence yesterday? This article explains exactly. AutoWeek
• Senators are not stoked on the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration’s proposal to make auto roofs stronger. Sure, the current standards are 35 years-old, but think about all the money our representatives would lose from the powerful People Who Like Being Crushed lobby. Detroit News

While I don’t like to think about anyone getting laid off, I still think it’s kind of funny that Hummer might get shut down. Of all the vehicles on the road, they have to be some of the dumbest. Anyway, here’s the rest of the news:

• Oh. My. God. F1 boss Max Mosley—AKA: Nazi orgy guy—survived his vote of confidence today! The German’s are pretty pissed, but apparently their protests weren’t enough to compel the other countries to vote him out. Wow! Associated Press
• In exchange for building the Volt in Detroit, the General is asking for Motown to give it a break on taxes. This seems like a no-brainer to me, hopefully the city government agrees. Detroit News
• Last month, total Ford sales fell 16%, while sales of trucks and SUVs dropped a whopping 40%. That’s got to hurt. Freep
• According to AutoPacific’s new survey, Cadillac owners are the most satisfied auto customers in the nation. Finally, so good news for GM! GM Fastlane
• KIA did a bang-up job at the 24-hour Nürburgring race. Not only did the pro_ceed the company fielded not have any mechanical issues. It also won it’s class and drove back to Milan after the race. Bravo! World Car Fans 

Last year, when McLaren’s F1 team was found with technical documents relating to arch-rival Ferrari’s program, the news ripped through the F1 world like an atomic blast through a wall of tissue paper. And while I read lots of news reports of the unfolding drama, this Wired article is the most comprehensive account of the big delicious mess that I’ve encountered. This story has everything—love, jealousy, betrayal, even extraordinarily perverted sex—and I think it would make a dope movie. Head over and check it out.

Look, everyone likes pain killers, but stealing them is just wrong, and taking too many of them will rot your brain. Case in point? A dude in Tampa used a cab to rob some local pharmacies of oxycodone. Seriously, a cab. Here’s the news:

• Everyone was blaming the General for killing the electric car, but might the blame fall somewhere else? Might the blame actually fall to the Golden State? We might never know the truth, but this argument makes sense. Autoblog
• Ferrari isn’t shy about slapping the Prancing Horse on anything, and after it’s done, it’s even less shy about charging completely ridiculous prices for it. The latest thing to receive the badge is a clock radio, and it costs a mere three grand. Mama mia! Jalopnik
• In advance of the confidence vote set to take place June 3rd, embattled Formula 1 boss Max Mosley is asking the sport’s general assembly not to change horses midstream. It seems that current minority shareholder CVC Capital wants take full ownership of F1, and he’s arguing that he’s the best person to aid the transition. Nice try buddy. Auto Week
• Korean prosecutors are looking to send Hyundai Motor Chairman Chung Mong-koo to jail for six years for embezzlement. Think they’ll succeed? Detroit News

It’s been a pretty good week for news—but the last entry in today’s list? Talk about juicy! Let’s hope there’s some truth to the rumors. Wow… when did I become such a tabloid-loving hack? Anyway, here’s the news:

• Yesterday, I reported about how SUV owners are having trouble unloading their gas-guzzlers. Well, it turns out Mercedes actually saw a rise in sales of its M-Class. Yup, the rich are different. They don’t care how much it costs to fill the tank. CarScoop
• Last year, the auto industry spent 70 million dollars lobbying legislators. That’s a lot cocktails and fancy dinners. Think the all the palm-greasers on the hill are pissed their representatives didn’t put out? Detroit News
• Want some proof that the gas tax holiday John McCain and Hillary Clinton are calling for is pure politics? Even auto industry execs think it’s a bad idea. Come election time remember: these are folks who thought they could buy your vote for less than 30 bucks. Freep
• Since the Nazi-orgy video surfaced, it’s been pretty obvious that Max Mosley’s days as F1 boss are numbered. But exactly why did that video make it into the hands of the tabloids?  After last year’s record fine, some might think McLaren would have a bone to pick. The head of its race program  denies any link, but still… BBC Sport

MSNBC is reporting that Max Mosley—AKA: Nazi Orgy Dude—has said he will step down in 2009, even if he survives the June 3rd vote which will determine if he will stay on as F1 boss. Given how extremely large that "if" is, it seems pretty optimistic for Mosley to be making plans for a graceful exit. I mean, does he seriously think that some of the world’s most prestigious auto manufacturers are going to give him a free pass on the whole Nazi orgy incident? And does he remember that BMW and Mercedes will present at the vote? Because if he does, it seems like he’s as delusional as he is perverted. Which is pretty delusional. Oh, and do you think that MSNBC could have found a better picture of this creep? Because I don’t. Check out the full article for more info.

Look, I’m as concerned about the environment as the next person. And even though a polar bear would rip me limb from limb if given half a chance, it still made me sad to think that their habitat is disappearing. But when I read that climate change may cause beer prices to rise, I started to get nervous. While some people look a beer as a luxury, I’ve always regarded a couple of cold ones as more of an inalienable right. Talk about sobering. Anyway, here’s the news: 

• Microsoft’s Sync system has been an unmitigated hit for Ford, and the Blue Oval’s brass has to be stoked. But come November, its exclusive deal with the Evil Empire will come to an end, and that has to have them a little worried. Will the Focus be able to stand on it’s own two feet? Auto Observer
• Given how slow Congress is to do anything, the blind must have a pretty powerful lobby. A bill set to be introduced today would establish a minimum decibel level for all vehicles starting 2010. I vote for a sonar ping. Automotive News
• Indianapolis Motor Speedway President Joie Chitwood wants to see F1 return to the States, and says his track is ready and willing to host a race. Lets hope the Indy and F1 can make nice soon. Winding Road
• In other F1-related news, FIA boss Max Mosley—AKA: Nazi-orgy guy—will face a no-confidence vote on June 3rd, a vote he is sure to lose. Something that probably won’t help his case? A new interview with one of the sex workers involved in his romp. She said he explicitly ordered the Nazi theme. Stay tuned. News of the World via New York Times