Sunday, I’m flying to the Sunshine State to see my folks, so this will be the last New on the Net for a little while. I’ve lived in Seattle for over 12 years, but to me, nothing says Christmas like lights strung around a palm tree. Weird, I know. Anyway, here’s the news:

• It might seem silly that I’d make fun of someone for not being able to spell, as eagle-eyed readers have caught my blunders more than once. But if I was going to, say, get a tattoo or make a fake delivery truck to smuggle pot, I’d make sure everything was kosher. Special delivery indeed! Phoenix New Times
• I was pretty sure the auto bailout would get passed pretty quick, so I was a little surprised that the Senate killed it yesterday. In related news, the General has hired bankruptcy attorneys. Yikes. Detroit News
• Looks like Top Gear America won’t be on NBC after all. There was no real info on why the show is headed for cable, but I’d bet the Peacock’s dismal ratings have something to do with it. Top Gear
• When I first saw this concept, I actually thought it was another fancy Lamborghini lighter or something. As it turns out, it’s a double-decker bus concept, and it looks super dope. Yahoo.uk via Jalopnik

Last night, I went to see a DJ set by Andy Rourke, who was the bassist for the Smiths. While we were chatting outside, I told him I think the bass line for “There is a Light That Never Goes Out” is one of the greatest ever written. Then we talked about Mingus. It was awesome. Anyway, here’s the news:

• So Detroit is getting a bailout. But who will be the new car czar? Angus MacKenzie says it should be Roger Penske, and I agree with him. Motor Trend
• Apparently, some of the manufacturers who’ve gotten their products flogged on the Aussie version of Top Gear are complaining about the “damage” done to the vehicles, and one even had the balls to say “we have no appetite for automotive jackass.” Um, so why did you give your car to Top Gear? Carsguide 
• Trademarks are important, but the Blue Oval has taken it a little too far. While its CEO is begging for money from the feds, the company is actually suing fan sites for infringement. Explain to me why we’re going to give money to people who make decisions this dumb again? Ranger Station via Autoblog
• Ford has already proved it hates its fans, but will it sanction the dealer that aired a boneheaded—and borderline racist—ad? Probably not. Detroit News

I’m not sure if I’ve posted this before, but if I have, it’s probably worth another mention. For those of us who hate giant automated phone menus—which I’m pretty sure is everyone—Paul English’s GetHuman kicks ass. I’ve used it a bunch, and it’s worked every time. Anyway, here’s the news:

• Ok, so I’m not saying that this mock advertisement is fair, but it’s still pretty funny, and I think it sums up the way a lot of folks feel about bailing out the automakers. Now somebody just needs to make one about the Wall Street fiasco. the Beast
• It’s impressive that the 2009 Ram 1500 has achieved a five-star crash rating, but that’s only part of the story. Apparently, the burly Mopar demolished all the testing equipment in the process. Kidding. PickUpTrucks
• Look, if you’re going to argue against the auto bailout, that’s fine. Everybody’s got an opinion. But to argue against helping the Big Three and say we need to aid, um, casinos? That’s crazy talk. I mean, that industry just takes people’s cash. For nothing. Wow. Jalopnik
• Lee Iacocca doesn’t think that getting rid of the brass at the Big Three will help Detroit get back on its feet. Now, I’ve never been accused of having a head for business, but can somebody explain why all these execs get paid so much while their companies are failing. Hell, I’d let a company fail for 250K per year. Freep

Barry Cooper is former cop who got disgusted with the "drug war" and how corrupt police handled marijuana crimes. He’s been releasing videos titled "Never Get Busted Again," since 2007, but he’s really hit it out of the park with this stunt. Basically, he set up a fake grow house, and when the local cops used a bogus warrant to raid it, he and his lawyer were waiting. Bonus? The whole thing was captured on video! Bravo sir! Anyway, here’s the news:

• A standard engine in F1? As much as it sounds like heresy, it’s going to happen. None of the manufacturers like it, but Ferrari has previously said it would withdraw from the series if it was forced to retire its proprietary racing engines. Expect fireworks. AutoWeek
• In other Ferrari-related news, the company is set to lay off a whopping ten percent of its workforce. Now I knew things were bad out there, but Jesus, Ferrari? I thought some companies were immune from the humble problems of the masses. Autocar
• Flying cars are cool, and I feel a little cheated we don’t all have them already. But I really think that if a company is going to take pre-orders, it should at least have a flying prototype. Or maybe I’m just too picky. Motor Authority
• For those worried about the bailout, it looks like it’s in the can. Sources on the hill say a deal is expected by the end of the day. Now let’s see some hustle, Detroit! Freep

If you’re going to kill yourself—which is generally not a good solution for anything—it’s only polite to do as little damage as possible on your way out. Otherwise, you could really ruin some innocent person’s day. Seriously, check out what an errant jumper did to this poor car. Anyway, here’s the news:

• The new 370Z employs a system called "SynchroRev Match," which matches engine and tranny speed automatically, and eliminates the need for heel-toe shifting. And while I’d still like to master the old technique, I have to admit it sounds pretty cool. What isn’t cool? According to this article, only 15% of people know how to drive a stick. Lame. LA Times
• As we all know, it’s a tough time to be a CEO at one of the Big Three. And while a government bailout might help things, maybe there are other solutions worth exploring—like a good old fashioned bake sale! Jalopnik
• While auto plant closures are sure to be painful everywhere, and least one expert thinks the neighbors to the north will get screwed first. Blame Canada! Automotive News
• A wind-powered sports car? While the idea sounds like complete fantasy, Ecotricity founder Dale Vince thinks it can be done. Here’s hoping he pulls it off. Motor Authority

I basically gave up the comics page when Bill Watterson stopped drawing Calvin and Hobbes, but I still get a kick out of This Modern World and a couple of others. Until this morning, I hadn’t seen Scott Meyer’s Basic Instructions, and it’s pretty funny. Today’s installment is called "How to Have a Horrifying Conversation." Anyway, here’s the news:

• The heads of the Big Three are back in front of Congress today, and this time, they brought a plan, instead of just a big bag to haul the loot back to Detroit. But that doesn’t seem to matter much to the public. 61% of folks don’t want to help Detroit. CNN
• Generally, I like tend to like the shows on NBC—Medium is great—more than those on CBS or ABC, so I was surprised to learn it’s fairing so poorly in the ratings. So what does that have to do with cars? Well, it means Knight Rider’s future looks sketchy. LA Times
• Love it or hate it, Honda has been successful at just about everything it’s tried. But "just about everything" doesn’t mean "everything." It looks the company’s F1 team is on the block. GrandPrix 
• As far as excuses go, "God told me to do it" is pretty thin. So the idiot who rammed a San Antonio woman at 100MPH for "not driving like a Christian" should probably get busy coming up with something else. My San Antonio via Jalopnik

So, everybody knows that Coca-Cola was originally spiked with Bolivian marching powder—but 7-Up also had a secret ingredient! As it turns out, the company’s "Never had it, never will" slogan doesn’t apply to lithium. Today, lithium is used to treat bi-polar disorder, but back in the roaring ’20s, it was just a hangover cure. Damn, I knew I was born too late. Anyway, here’s the news:

• Honda has released images of the new Insight, and it looks very similar to the Prius, which means it’s hideous. So what’s the deal? Must hybrid cars be visually repellent to function? Is this why Tesla can’t seem to get its act together? Autoblog
• Yesterday, a Reno woman got wasted and hopped behind the wheel. Then she filled her tank and drove away with the pump’s nozzle dangling. The kicker? She mistook an ambulance for a police cruiser and pulled over. At least nobody got hurt. The Weekly Vice via Jalopnik
• With the Big Three begging for government loans and auto sales in the toilet, it’s easy to see Hummer as doomed. But while its fate seems certain, there’s a chance the Ruskies might save the beefy brand. Seriously, ever seen a Russian "road?" New York Times
• If somebody stole my moped—not that I’d ever own one—I guess I’d be pretty stoked if the thief tried to make right. Of course, I might be a little pissed if it took him 25 years. Reuters

Well, if you saw Rob’s post yesterday, you know I’m not on the payroll anymore. And what can I say? It sucks. Being a CarDomain editor was—by far—the coolest job I’ve ever had, and I’ll sincerely miss working with Rob and Jen. But I always enjoyed writing this post, so I’ve decided to try to keep it up. Oh, and thanks for the kind words ¡sǝu, I appreciated them. Anyway, here’s the news:

• Today, execs from the Big Three are going to try, again, to convince Congress to hand over $25 billion and bail out Detroit. Hopefully they’ll bring their "A" game, because some—like the pointy-headed geeks at Wired—think the Big Three should become the Medium Two. Wired
• While it’s rough out there for every company, until now, the exotic marques had seemed impervious to the downturn. But it looks like the crappy economy is starting to effect every tier of the industry. Aston Martin just announced plans to lay off 600 workers. Autoblog
• For those lucky customers that pick up a new ZR1, the General is going to throw in a free, two-day driving course at the Bondurant School. Since the new ‘Vette has over 600 horsepower on tap, a little professional instruction is probably a good idea. Motor Authority
• Honda has never had an unprofitable year or lay off workers. But with numbers like these, you wonder how long that record can stand. Freep

In one of his recent campaign ads, John McCain compared Barack Obama toParis—famous for being famous—Hilton. Anyway, here’s the news:

• Unless you’re making high-end luxury cars, it’s a tough time to be in the auto business. Even the mighty Toyota is laying people off. 800 contract workers in Japan have been let go. Wall Street Journal
• The Lotus Evora is probably going to get a supercharger, which will boost power to around 400 horsepower. While that’s all well and good, maybe they should just put the camo back on this design disaster. That car was so much cooler when it was "Project Eagle" and nobody knew what it looked like. Autocar
• Packard made some gorgeous machines back in the day, and now the rights to the luxury marque are up for sale. Do yourself a favor and don’t look at the prototype. Damn, it’s ugly. Automotive News
• Next-gen versions of Porsche’s Cayenne have been spotted in the wild, and you have to admit, the uber-powerful SUV looks a lot better when it’s riding low. World Car Fans

While I don’t have any official statistics, I’m sure there are plenty of people that get cold feet and cancel their weddings at the last minute. But not everyone sets fire to the venue to delay the ceremony. I mean, that’s bold. But at least Tatsuhiko Kawada got his wish—it’s hard to get married when you’re in jail for arson. Anyway, here’s the news:

• There have been rumors that Michael Schumacher might compete in the World Superbike series for the last few months, but the former F1 champ has always denied any interest in returning to the grid on a motorcycle. Will an offer from Honda make him change his mind? Autosport
• United Auto Workers President Ron Gettelfinger has stated that the unions have nothing to do with the problems currently facing the Big Three. Now, that doesn’t seem accurate to me, but I guess if you’re going to tell a lie, it’s probably best to tell a big one. BrietBart
• Eric Stromer—one of the hosts of the American version of Top Gear—was recently involved in an accident which left his Camry Hybrid on its side leaning against a palm tree. He’s ok, and it was apparently another driver’s fault, but the really funny thing? The airbags didn’t go off. Jalopnik
• Purdue University has just released a study that says most of its locals don’t have a problem speeding, and consider posted limits to be suggestions. While I certainly don’t want to see people ripping through residential areas at triple digit speeds, this did make me wish people in the Emerald City would actually drive the posted limit. World Car Fans